I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
