Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
