Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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