Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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