yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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