I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Also, beer. Big fan.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
