a queef is a wish your heart makes.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize