they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
