I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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