the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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