i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
