Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
