I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
