you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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