TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
