its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It was like giving head to a cactus.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
