I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
