i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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