He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
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