i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
As shirtless as possible
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
