So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
