that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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