oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
