I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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