i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
