At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Redeem this text for a blowjob
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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