SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize