i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
