I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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