I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
