Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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