3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
