textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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