The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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