This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
