I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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