I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
