My first STD was from a foam party
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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