Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
