I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
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Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
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THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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