dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
