bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
