Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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