Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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