Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
