Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
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I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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