My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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