I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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