Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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