So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
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He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
His nipple licking is glorious
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