remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
