He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
