Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
