You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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