my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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