So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize