i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
