Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just want to make out with him forever
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
