Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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