For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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