and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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