and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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