I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
