Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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