in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
