just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
People in love make me want to vomit
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
