Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
