Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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